I recently watched Mel Brooks’ comedy classic, Young Frankenstein (1974), for the umpteenth time. (“Umpteenth” is a useful word that translates to I-don’t-know-how-many-times-but-it’s-a-hell-of-a-lot.) Whenever you find yourself in need of a laugh, there are no remedies much better than this, an homage to the 1931 horror classic. The film stars the late, great Gene Wilder as Frederick Frankenstein—“That’s Fronkensteen!”—grandson of the infamous Victor Frankenstein, and an outstanding supporting cast. Quotable lines run rampant throughout. I present a small sample. Enjoy.
A medical student asks Frederick about reanimation. His reply: “I am a scientist, not a philosopher! You have more chance of reanimating this scalpel than you have of mending a broken nervous system!” The student: “But what about your grandfather’s work, sir?” Frederick: “My grandfather’s work was doodoo! I am not interested in death! The only thing that concerns me is the preservation of life!” For emphasis he jams the scalpel into his leg, then tries to block it from view as he says, “Class…is…dismissed.”
Igor (pronounced eye-gor), played by bug-eyed Marty Feldman, meets Frederick at the Transylvania station and leads him to their transportation, a haycart, where he meets Inga (Teri Garr), his lab assistant. She says, “Vould you like to have a roll in ze hay? It’s fun. (singing) Roll, roll, roll in ze hay!”
Igor, Frederick, and Inga.
Frederick is reading from his grandfather’s notebook: “‘As the minuteness of the parts formed a great hinderance to my speed, I resolved therefore to make a being of gigantic stature.’ Of course, that would simplify everything.” Inga: “In other vords, his feet, his hands, his organs vould all have to be increased in size.” Frederick: “Exactly.” Inga: “He vould have an enormous schwanzstucker.” Frederick: “That goes without saying.” Inga: “Voof!” Igor: “He’s going to be very popular.”
The Monster (Peter Boyle) does not turn out too well. Frederick learns that Igor stole the wrong brain, and he’s livid. “Are you saying that I put an abnormal brain into a seven-and-a-half foot long, 54-inch-wide GORILLA?”
“Look at that boyish face.”
But he tries to reason with the monster. “Hello handsome. You’re a good looking fellow, do you know that? People laugh at you, people hate you, but why do they hate you? Because…they are jealous. Look at that boyish face. Look at that sweet smile. Do you wanna talk about physical strength? Do you want to talk about sheer muscle? Do you want to talk about the Olympian ideal? You are a God. And listen to me, you are not evil. You…are…good.”
The local gentry is worried about what is going on at Frankenstein’s castle. Top cop, Inspector Kemp (a hilarious Kenneth Mars), tells the villagers, “Vee had better confeerm de fect dat Yunk Frankenshtein iss VALLOWING EEN EES GANDFADDA’S VOOTSHTAPS.” Villagers: “What?” Kemp: “Following in his grandfather’s footsteps. Footsteps, footsteps!” Villagers: “Ohhh, footsteps.”
Frederick’s fiancé, Elizabeth (Madeline Kahn), is abducted by the Monster. They have sex, and she sings, “Oh sweet mystery of life at last I found you!”
“Puttin’ on the Ritz!”
Later on, Elizabeth changes her tune a bit: “Where are you going? Oh, you men are all alike. Seven or eight quick ones and then you’re out with the boys to boast and brag. You better keep your mouth shut! Oh, I think I love him.”
Frederick has given the Monster part of his brain. He and Inga have just gotten married. She says, “There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you. In the transference, the monster got part of your wonderful brain. But what did you ever get from him?” Frederick growls suggestively. Inga says, “Oh my goodness, I don’t believe…” Then she sings, “Oh sweet mystery of life at last I found you!”
Honestly, this is a small sample of the wonderful lines and scenes in Young Frankenstein, a landmark comedy from genius Mel Brooks. And I didn’t even mention the great work by Cloris Leachman as Frau Blücher. The scene with the Monster and the Blind Man (played by Gene Hackman) is priceless. Brooks will turn 100 in a couple of weeks. As the Jewish tradition tells us, “May he live to be 120.”