Next year, 80-year-old Harrison Ford will reprise his role as the intrepid archaeologist (Indiana Jones and the Last Gasp?) in the as yet untitled fifth movie in the popular series, which began at the dawn of time…okay, 1981. Here are some memorable lines from the first two.
RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (1981)
Indy shows two government suits a depiction of the Ark of the Covenant and tells them that it was said to contain the Ten Commandments. One of the guys exclaims, “What, you mean THE Ten Commandments?” To which Indy replies, “Yes, the actual Ten Commandments, the original stone tablets that Moses brought down from Mt. Horab and smashed, if you believe in that sort of thing. Didn’t any of you guys go to Sunday School?”
Indy runs from a boulder on his butt.
Marion Ravenwood, Indy’s ex-lover, runs a bar in Nepal. He believes she has a piece that her late father, also an archaeologist, had dug up that will lead Indy to the Well of Souls in Egypt, where the Ark is supposedly buried. Marion has hated him for many years: “Indiana Jones. I always knew some day you’d come walking through my door. I never doubted that. Something made it inevitable. So what are you doing here in Nepal?” When he replies, “I need one of the pieces your father collected,” she punches him in the jaw and says, “I’ve learned to hate you in the last ten years!”
Indy confronts his arch-rival, René Belloq, who says, “How odd that it should end this way for us after so many stimulating encounters. I almost regret it. Where should I find an adversary so close to my own level?” To which Indy replies, “Try the local sewer!”
“The whole place is slitherin’!”
The Nazis, also looking for the Ark, have established a site outside Cairo, but they’re digging in the wrong place. Indy figures out where to dig, and along with his friend Sallah they find the entrance to the Well of Souls. Peering down, Sallah says, “Indy, why does the floor move?” Indy drops a torch down and sees hundreds of snakes. His iconic line: “Snakes. Why’d it have to be snakes?” Sallah’s response: “Asps. Very dangerous. You go first.”
Indy retrieves the Ark, but the Nazis take it and seal him and Marion in the Well of Souls. They escape, but the Nazis load the Ark on a truck and head for Cairo. Indy tells Sallah, “Meet me at Omar’s. Be ready for me. I’m going after that truck.” When Sallah asks him how he says, “I don’t know. I’m making this up as I go.”
INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM (1984)
In this prequel to Raiders, Indy flees Shanghai with singer Willie Scott (Kate Capshaw) and his sidekick, a young, orphaned Chinese boy called Short Round. When the plane crashes in the Himalayas, they wind up in an impoverished village in northern India. Evil forces in a nearby palace, the Thugee cult, have stolen their children, as well as a sacred stone. Knowing the value of the Shankara stone, Indy agrees to help.
Short Round asks, “What is Shankara?” Indy replies, “Fortune and glory, kid. Fortune and glory.”
Willie is annoying as hell. When they start down a river in a raft after falling from a plane, she tells Indy, “I hate the water, and I hate being wet! And I hate YOU!”
Mola Ram is rather creepy…
Indy and the others receive a warm welcome at the palace from the Prime Minister and the maharajah, a kid, both of whom deny the existence of the Thugees. At a lavish dinner, where bugs, snakes, and other creepy crawlies are the main fare, Willie is freaking out. One guest, while chowing down on a giant cockroach, is surprised that Willie is not eating. She tells him, “I had bugs for lunch.” The bug eater is then pleased when the final course arrives: “Ah, dessert. Chilled monkey brains!” Willie passes out.
After a Thugee tries to kill Indy, he and the others escape through a bug-infested tunnel, replete with booby traps. They come across an underground temple, where the Thugees worship the goddess Kali with human sacrifice. The high priest, a real piece of work named Mola Ram, removes the heart of one victim externally before sending him down into a fiery pit.
After our trio is captured, Indy is drugged into serving Kali: “Kali Ma protects us! We are her children! We pledge our devotion to her with an offering of flesh…and blood!”
Willie is about to be lowered into the sacrificial pit: “I’m not going to have anything nice to say about this place when I get back!”
“Prepare to meet Kali…in hell!”
Short Round knows that Indy is in a trance. He burns him with a torch and says, “Indy, I love you! Wake up, Indy! You’re my best friend! Wake up, Indy!” When one of the Thugees tries to kill the boy, Indy says, “Wait, wait! He’s mine!” He holds Short Round over the pit, winks at him and says, “I’m all right, kid.” They proceed to kick some ass.
The final confrontation scene takes place on a rickety rope bridge over a crocodile-infested river. Looks like Mola Ram and his minions are going to do our heroes in. Indy tells Short Round to wrap a rope around himself and Willie, and he does the same. Willie, realizing what he’s doing: “Oh my god…oh my god…oh my god! Is he nuts?” Short Round: “He no nuts. He’s crazy!” Indy says, “Mola Ram, prepare to meet Kali…in hell!” He cuts the rope, which troubles Mola Ram: “NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU FOOL—!” Down he and the other Thugees go, lunch for the crocodiles.
Nor does the third Indiana Jones film lack for great lines. We’ll explore that in next week’s post.