This is a post for writers. I first presented it in 2012.

A person of some fame and accomplishment (in endeavors other than writing) contacted me some years back to see if I could assist her in writing a book about her life. At first thrilled and honored, I quickly re-evaluated the possibility of this happening when she informed me of her expectations for getting this project done—not only her expectations for me, and for my role as coach/editor, but for herself. Totally unrealistic, something that I reluctantly told her, at the same time dismissing any thought of a working relationship. Too bad, because—fame aside—she was a delightful individual, and I believed that I would have enjoyed the experience.

Surprise, she thanked me for filling her in on the process of writing a book, from conception to publication, and all that it entailed. She had no idea, she said, but now that she knew, she was not discouraged. She appreciated the fact that I could help her manage her expectations. (We came up with a new title: EM, or Expectations Manager. I liked that.) Subsequently we did some work on the project, though it was slowed by her busy schedule of personal appearances, the birth of a baby, and life in general, which always manages to get in the way of the most well-intentioned writing projects.

People that have worked with me know that I’m always trying to help them manage their expectations in this endeavor of writing/publishing, at all stages of the process. If your 100,000-word labor of blood, sweat, and tears needs a ton of work, the expectations are that it will take a considerable amount of time to make it submission ready. If it’s a solid piece of work, and you take guidance well, the expectations are that it will be “professional grade” and submission ready much sooner. If your manuscript is ready to go out to literary agents, the expectations are that finding an agent who will “love” your work (their word; gag!) can be a long and often frustrating experience. And so on. Only by managing your expectations will you be able to navigate this course and preserve your sanity.

I once went back and forth with a potential new client, until I finally decided to pass on the project. Her premise was not the strongest, and the writing sample that I saw did not impress, though these were not the primary reasons for my reluctance, for I’ve seen many a sow’s ear turn into a silk purse with hard work and dedication. No, this was about expectations…that I would help the writer get this book published, and that anything less would be a “disappointment” to her. Sorry, but expectations such as this are unrealistic, both for yourself and for any writing coach or editor from whom you seek help.

So, heed the words of your friendly neighborhood EM: learn how to manage your expectations as you write, market, and (hopefully) publish your book. You will be well served.

TEASER: I will be releasing a never-before-published novel sometime next month. Stay tuned for details. You’ll be hearing a lot more about it.