Some fun today. In my latest novel, The Magic of the Bike Path (A Jack Miller Senior Moment: Book Six), Jack winds up in a museum located in the middle of nowhere…literally. Its current exhibit is “The Wonderful, Jackalicious World of Jack,” featuring famous figures, both real and fictional, named Jack. How can he pass that up? Accompanied by the museum docent—Jack the Ripper—our intrepid rider visits the interactive displays. Here is a small sample.
You know, following these arrows on the floor made me think of taking a one-way trek through an Ikea showroom. I mean, I could turn back if I wanted to, right? I just had to get past Jack the Ripper…
I kept on going. Besides, I found this Jackalicious museum rather interesting.
As was the next display niche, which appeared to be at least a triple-wide. Maybe even more. Why? Well, the single ornamental tablet read Jack Ryan, so maybe you can figure it out.
Five familiar effigies stood frozen in what looked like the argument of all arguments, expressions ranging from pissed off to snarling. I had to check this out, so in went both arms.
“I was the first, so I’m Jack Ryan!” the Alec Baldwin effigy snapped.
“But I played him in two movies, so I’m Jack Ryan!” Harrison Ford countered.
“I did four seasons with a potload of episodes,” John Krasinski interjected, “so I must be Jack Ryan!”
“I was the youngest and best-looking Jack Ryan!” Ben Affleck bellowed.
“No on both counts, that was me!” Chris Pine corrected.
All five effigies looked at me. “What do you think, fella?” Alec Baldwin challenged.
“Well, all of you played Jack Ryan, so—”
“I was the best Jack Ryan!” John Krasinski crowed.
“One reviewer said I have the awkward charisma of Jack Ryan,” Harrison Ford offered, “so I must—!”
Okay, enough! I pulled my hands out, and the five effigies re-froze into their endless debate. Still, I couldn’t help but smile. That was pretty damn funny.
The next display contained only one effigy…well, two, if you count the 1949 Hudson as practically a character from a classic book called On the Road. Yeah, the plaque read Jack Kerouac, which made this hack writer quite happy. I thrust most of myself into the niche, and the contemplative figure in the front seat came alive.
“There was nowhere to go but everywhere, so just keep on rolling under the stars,” he intoned.
Wow!
“The air was soft, the stars so fine, the promise of every cobbled alley so great, that I thought I was in a dream.”
Awesome!
“The best teacher is experience and not through someone’s distorted point of view.”
How true.
“My whole wretched life swam before my eyes, and I realized no matter what you do it’s bound to be a waste of time in the end, so you might as well go mad.”
That quote might as well have been the one that set me off on the Ultimate Bike Path.
“Nothing behind me, everything ahead of me, as is ever so…on the road.”
Or maybe it was that one. The Jack Kerouac effigy clicked off, and I withdrew from the niche, thinking that it just might be time for me to get back…on the road.